by Amory Lowe

Tom is a man of limited properties. He only sees the good in people, because like the three monkeys, he sees no evil, hears no evil, and speaks no evil. He has a face that everyone loves, and a mind that everybody pities.

Podcampaz.org

Hey, I'm on Twitter. If you feel like it, add me to your friends list. You can even get updates on the episodes coming up whenever I decide to put them up.

http://twitter.com/amorylowe

As always, the theme song is Beatnik Turtle's "Batshit Insanity", and you can find them at
www.thesongoftheday.com

See you at Podcamp AZ

Some quick information about the state of The Great Beyond

If you're going to attend Podcamp AZ on November 3rd, maybe you'll see me there. I'll be the one in the black Hell T-shirt.

http://podcampaz.org/

Hey, Amory here. Not able to get an episode out this week, going on a vacation. Expect a new episode Monday of next week. In the mean time check one of these great podcasts out.

The Drabblecast
EscapePod
Pseudopod

Or listen to one of our archived episodes.

-Amory Lowe
Editor at The Great Beyond Podcast

Judge Claude Fingers knew the onus was on him to say something. He uncrossed his legs. "Mr Silver, I appreciate that reliving that episode must have been very distressing for you--"

 

"And the court shares your distress," Seymour chipped in. "Isn't that right, Y'onour?"

 

"Yes, thank you, Horace. I mean Mr Seymour. Um, Mr Silver, I'm afraid I closed my eyes at a critical moment. Can you confirm for me that you really are now, um, _sans testes_?"

 

"She hacked my damn balls off. With a chisel!"

 

"Oh dear. Mr Seymour, do you have any more questions to put to the witness?"

"Y'onour. Pornography has outstripped the mainstream cinema in popularity since early this century, but only in the latter half of this century have its creators truly reaped the spoils. For six years running John Silver was the highest paid movie star _in the world_. But was he content to rest on his laurels? Oh no. He had a burning desire to push the envelope, and so he became the first, and to date the only, time-travelling pornstar.

 

"He travelled to dangerous locations in the past, always alone, always living on his wits, to ravish the most famous women in history. On the sixth of July this year he embarked on his most ambitious project to date: Mr Silver attempted to seduce no less a personage than a goddess!" Seymour acknowledged the respectful "Aah" from the public gallery. "Sadly, in the course of this performance, Mr Silver suffered a debilitating injury."

www.mylefteye.net

Part 4 of The Dope Fiend
Read by Amory Lowe

 "So what do you want?" I said again. He shook his head at me, admonishing. "You fucked up, boy," he said. "There’s a ghost and an angel on the loose in your city, and you seem to think hiding here and drinking brandy is the answer to all your problems. Look how long it took me to find you. If you’re trying to hide, you’re not doing a very good job of it."

"I’m not trying to hide," I said, annoyed. "I’m trying to think. I don’t understand what’s going on."

Help Spread the word about The Great Beyond Podcast!

Yes, you can help get this small podcast off the ground by sending the promo for The Great Beyond attached in the RSS feed and sending it to as many Podcasters as you can think of.

JUST THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

This episode should sound a lot better than the last one. Last time I ever use the Audacity cleaning option again.

The Dope Fiend, Part 2
Read by Amory Lowe

I had seen for myself the power of the stranger, and found in it something that I recognized. Manning’s people may have called it a _Loa_; Chang’s word for it was _Feng-Huang_. And in my own long history I had known ones who were like this mysterious entity, glimpsed from beneath darkened skies and on the edge of worlds beyond time...

My people called such beings _mal’achim_: angels.


www.apexbookcompany.com
music.podshow.com

The website is finally up. First episode should be out by the middle or end of June. For anyone gets redirected to this site, here are the guidelines as originally put up on www.Ralan.com (Thank you Ralan)

What we want in a story:

The Great Beyond is a Fantasy/Science Fiction podcast, and since that is our genre those are the stories we're going to buy. By the F/SF, we mean Fantasy and Science Fiction in the sense of it mattering to the story. Stories that have been previously published in text are gladly welcome, as well as never before published anywhere stories, but remember that if your story is good enough for us to buy, then other markets will probably think the same.

The e-mail address to send the story to is TheGreatBeyondPodcast@gmail.com (this address will be switched once the website is set up and the podcast is running, but for at least a couple months we will be running with Gmail).

Please only send one story at a time.

Length:

We're looking for genre pieces in the lengths of between 6000 words and 20000 words. This podcast is going to serialize single stories between 2 to 4 episodes, one episode running each week, and each episode running the length of between 20 minutes and 60 minutes, depending on the length of the story.

Pay:

Our payment system is a somewhat flat rate system. For each episode that the story appears in, the writer will receive $25 dollars. Hence, if it's a 10000 word story that is serialized into two episodes, the writer will receive $50 for the work, and if it's an 18000 word story serialized into four episodes, then the writer will receive $100 for the story. Payment will be received by the author within 60 days of acceptance of the story.

The Story Itself:

This is going to be an audio podcast of any stories we accept, hence the story must translate well into audio. A large amount of flowery language in the story does not translate well. We're looking for fiction with strong pacing, well-defined characters, engaging dialogue, and clear action. It can be beautiful too, but it must be a beauty that translates to audio.

Secondly, we're looking for upbeat stories. We want to have as much fun reading the stories as our listeners will have listening to it. Depressing and moody stories might be accepted, but they better be really good.

Lastly, we do not accept stories focusing on rape, incest, child molestation, body mutilation, hate crimes, unsubtle religious or anti-religious propaganda, or politics. This rule, if necessary, will be bent a little if the story is so overpowering in its fun factor that it makes the editor's head explode with anticipation to accept it. Of course, the fun associated with these ideals may not be the fun we want to be a part of, so don't send us your story about how a sexually abused-rape victim Neo-Nazi Catholic priest who mutilates children before he molests them is running for congress.

Submission Format:

So, you've decided to submit to us? Good for both of us then, isn't it?

To start off, we take all submissions as E-mail at the above e-mail address.

All submissions should be pasted into the body of the e-mail and should be in PLAIN TEXT FORMAT.

1. On the subject line of the e-mail, put the words "Story Submission" followed by the name of the story and the word count (Word count should be a ball park estimate, with it rounded to hundred), with commas placed appropriately between the three requirements. It should look something like this:
   Story Submission, The Great American Short Story, 16500 Words.
2. In the body of the e-mail, place your real name (We will publish under a pseudonym if wished, but we need to know who to write out the check to), your mailing address, and a cover letter giving us a small biography and top publishing credits (We will introduce the author before we read the story on the podcast and we would like to know what to say). We will not hold it against you if you don't have any publishing credits, we will accept and reject all stories based on the merit of the story.
3. Also in the body of the e-mail, under the cover letter, insert the Word Count and title of the story again, followed by the name you wish to publish the story under and then the pasted story into the actual e-mail. We will not read e-mails with attachments, and hence will not accept stories attached to e-mails as Word or any other format. All submissions should be in PLAIN TEXT FORMAT. The story itself should be single spaced with _UNDERSCORES_ placed for emphasis and blank lines between paragraphs.

We will respond to the e-mail address which the e-mail was sent from.

The Necessary Skiff:

This is necessary stuff, and we don't like having to put it here, but here it is.

By sending us your story you understand and agree that:

• You are the original creator of the work submitted to us;
• You are the copyright holder of the work;
• You are not prohibited by any prior agreement from the transfer of non-exclusive electronic and audio rights to the work;
• All information in the contact and cover sections of your e-mail is accurate and truthful;
• You accept sole responsibility for any false statements or encumbrances upon rights not disclosed to us.

Response Time:

Since we haven't started the podcast yet, it will be hard to estimate response time, but for now I will put it at 4 to 6 weeks. If it takes longer, it is probably a good thing and your story has received a second review for possible publication.

Lastly:

The audio files The Great Beyond will produce will be released under a Creative Commons license. Specifically, we will use the Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license. Briefly, this means that the entire world has permission to distribute the podcast for free, provided they give credit for it, don't try to make money off of it, and don't change it in any way. Transcribing it, extracting portions from it beyond fair use, and mashing it up are all prohibited. This license applies only to our audio performance of your work, for which we've contracted and paid you. It does not apply to your story itself; you retain your copyright and all rights to any other use of the story.

Any other questions for us can also be e-mailed to TheGreatBeyondPodcast@gmail.com, but under the subject line put "question" instead of anything else, otherwise it will not be read.

Now that that nonsense is over with, what are you doing still reading? Start sending that stuff in!